Looking
by short and simple
Summary: AU. "A long time ago, I had a crush on a boy." A tale in which our very own Cameron Ann Morgan reminisces about her past. One-shot.


**Yeah, I know this was really clichéd. It's been a while since I wrote, so cut me some slack please. Nevertheless, I hope you all enjoy!**

A long time ago, I had a crush on a boy.

I couldn't stop looking at him. Believe me, I tried. I tried so hard. Unfortunately, it had always ended in failure. At first it was a glance. A glance turned into occasional stares. The stares turned into dreamy looks. I looked at him for months, and sadly, he never looked back. I think it had to do with the fact that he already had someone to stare at. The looks he would shoot at for that pretty girl was identical to the looks I sent over his way. He never noticed me, not once, even when I was internally in my head, desperately shouting to _just look at me. _

His good looks weren't the first thing that caught my attention. Before my little crush developed I barely paid any mind to him. Of course I knew who he was. He was one of the kindest people in our school, also one of the most well-known, meaning he was way out of my league.

One day I was casually sitting on a small bench in the park with my earphones in my ear, bobbing my head along the music and reading a book. A loud noise cuts through my music, and suddenly my ear is filled with a child's shrieks and cries. I take out an ear bud and curiously look around for the source of the noise. That's when I see him. He's bending over the kid, asking if he's alright. The child is covered in cuts and scratches, wailing loudly as he lies next to the old battered bike. He says something to him, and surprisingly the kid stops bawling. A few seconds later, a young woman, presumably the young boy's mother is running down the hill and yelling for her son. She's thanking him profusely, and he's just standing there shaking his head and smiling down at the little boy.

Everything about that day was so goddamn cheesy, but for whatever reason, I found myself smiling.

The next day, I'm in physics. He's there, too. In between the lessons, I would subtly look at him a little bit. Then days pass by, and I look at him a little bit longer. I started to notice him more and more. Weeks go by, and the stares intensify. It gets to the point where my perfect average begins to drop. I decide to cut down on the stares and pay more attention to the lesson but that doesn't mean I stop looking at him.

I felt like a major stalker. I knew I was being a bit creepy, but I couldn't seem to stop myself. It was so hard. Luckily for me, I was being very discreet and thankfully he or anyone else for that matter never caught me.

I knew a relationship between me and him would never happen. For one, there were lots of other better looking girls out there. But he had only one girl in mind, and that girl was Macey Mchenry. She was nice, funny, and extremely beautiful. The perfect match for him.

I couldn't really blame him for falling for her. She was perfect, and no I am not exaggerating. She was literally _perfect, _with her thick and shiny stark black hair, long athletic legs, and the most gorgeous baby blue eyes. Not only did she have a killer body, but also a killer personality. She was hilarious and her sarcastic attitude was enough to win just about anybody over, including him.

I knew nothing could ever happen between us, but yet I chose to continue crushing on him. Every time I watched him look at her with that longing stare, a look similar to the one I had, my heart would squeeze a little, and I felt my stomach sinking.

Little did I know, unbeknownst to me, while I was watching him, and he was watching her, there was an extra addition to our chain. I had myself a secret admirer, only looking from a distance.

I didn't notice him until he confronted me.

During my junior year, the month of February, a determined boy with wavy brown hair and determined blue eyes marched down my table in the cafeteria. I was shocked and kind of a little frightened from the intense look in his eyes.

He asked me out.

It took me a while to process this, but once I did, I didn't know what to do. I started to sweat a little from all the attention he drew to us. There was a part of me that was kind of peeved at him. I don't do well in the spotlight. I nervously chewed on my lip, all the while, freaking out inside. Among the onlookers, _he _was one of them. My dream guy was finally looking at me, but not the way I wanted him to. Not the _reason _I wanted him to. I was kind of bummed out to say the least, although I wasn't really that surprised.

It was at that moment that I knew I had to get over this little crush I had on him. This little infatuation was getting ridiculous. I needed to take my feelings and hurl it out the window so that it's far enough until I felt nothing toward him. So I did the only logical thing I could think of.

I said yes.

When we started to date, I wasn't all that attracted to him. He was cute and everything, but he was no match for the boy I'd been ogling at for the past month. I had a feeling this relationship wasn't going to last long.

I couldn't be more wrong.

He was a little dorky and shy, but…also sweet.

It also helped that he was _very _cute.

As the days passed, he started to grow on me, and pretty soon I found myself enjoying his company. Day by day, I found him more and more attractive. Needless to say, I loved being around him.

It took a while, but the boy with the wavy brown hair and blue eyes finally managed to do it. He made me fall in love with him.

Eventually I stopped looking at the boy in my physics class and I started looking at the boy with the wavy brown hair.

Our relationship lasted for ten months.

It was late December. We were on break. I was in bed snoring away until I heard my cellphone go off. I read his name on the caller I.D. and answered it.

"I swear if this isn't important I'm going to…" I paused, listening to the voice on the other end.

It wasn't his voice.

"Yes, this is she."

The last time I saw him, he was lying in a coffin with his eyes closed.

"Goodbye, Josh." I whispered quietly, just before I turned away as the workers closed the coffin, choking back on a sob as I covered my mouth with my fist and screwed my eyes shut. I think this has got to be my worst memory of all time. I don't think I've ever cried as much as I did that month.

I stopped smiling after that.

Did you know I _really _hate Decembers?

I didn't know this at the time, but while I was grieving over Josh's death, someone was looking at me. Four months later I was still being stared at. Two months later, I'm at graduation. There, I spot Macey Mchenry and Preston Winters lip locking as I pass them and walk over to my grinning parents. I look over my shoulder and stare at them strangely, because…well…it was Macey Mchenry_ and Preston Winters._

I repeat.

Preston Winters.

I have nothing against Preston. It's just that…out of all the guys I expected Macey to end up with, Preston was certainly not one of them (not that it was any of my business). Preston Winters, the seventeen year old boy who still wore a Spiderman wristwatch.

As I listened to my parents chatter, I turn around looking in boredom and as I do, someone quickly whips their head around, so fast that I'm not able to catch a glimpse of their face. I look at the back of their head for a moment, before I shrug and turn back around thinking it was probably nothing.

A year later I'm at some café, taking a sip of my coffee while I furiously type on my laptop, struggling to finish the research report I was assigned. Someone sits down on the chair opposite beside me, causing me to look up for a brief moment. When I do, I'm met with a familiar set of dark green eyes. The same ones my high school-self used to drool over two years ago. It occurs to me that he's _finally _looking at me. I'm surprised to say the least and I could have sworn I almost spat out my coffee if I hadn't composed myself in time. I quickly looked back at my laptop and continued to work on my report, all the while well aware of him watching me.

_He's looking at me, he's actually looking at me, _I think to myself.

He clears his throat, his hand on his cup as he motions towards my laptop. "That must be some assignment." He says, referring to the speed I was typing at.

"Yeah," I say quietly. We don't say much after that. That is, until he decides to break the ice.

"So…" he trails off, "you used to go to Roseville High, huh?" he asks nodding at my old worn out Roseville High sweatshirt. I nod and continue typing away.

"Awesome," he smiles, "I also went there."

"Is that so?" I say taking another sip of my delicious coffee.

"Yeah," he laughs. "So what's your name?"

"Cammie," I say tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, "my name's Cammie Morgan."

He holds out his hand for me to shake and introduces himself, even though I already knew what he was going to say.

"I'm Zach,"

I resist the urge to say 'Yeah, I know' and shake his hand instead.

"Zach Goode."

_**Fin.**_


End file.
